Ratchet Chronicles

I hope ya'll ready for this story I'm about to recant. It's long...but interesting as hell. On me....it's true.

I'm in the barbershop earlier today in the chair getting chopped when this woman and her two kids, one boy one girl, walks in. She wasn't an unattractive woman at all, so naturally, most of the guys in there took notice. She walks right up to my barber as asks him how many heads he had to go before he could get to her son. He replies there is only one (after me). Her next question is, "Lil' boy or grown man?"....to which he replies its a grown man. She gets closer to him and says she's asking because she wants the VIP treatment today. My dude kinda steps back and asks her to repeat herself.

She repeats, "I'm in the mood for the VIP treatment today. I ain't in the mood to be waiting."

D (the barber) shakes his head and continues to cut.....then it gets weird.

D then says to her, "You got that comeback, don't it?"

"That what?", she says with her face slightly screwed up but with a hint of ppa smile.

"That come back."

The woman smiles. "Lil Ron, gon take these quarters and go play the game. Gone nah." Her son gets the quarters and goes to the side of the shop with the basketball games.

"Nah D....see you don't know the whole story. That nigga with the shit mane straight up."

Just as she says that, her daughter creeps near.....listening.

"Gone lil girl! Always being nosey. Get yoself over there somewhere.....shit. Always in somebody business." She turns back to D.

"Anyway. Yea mane, you gotta know how this nigga did it mane. He with the shit."

"What he do," D asked.

"So he ain't seen his son in years right. Nigga don't ever come through to even speak. Then out the blue...on like June 15th, he start calling me asking when can he see his son. I told him whenever, right. So its all good. He come through and check on him and everything."

D shakes his head in agreement. Keeping his eyes on the razor he's using to line me up.

"So then on like 23rd of June the nigga come through and start picking 'jones' up from school and bringing him home," the woman says.

For those of you who don't know, "jones" is a Memphis word used interchangeably between men and women, animate and inanimate things. It's like a place keeper word that you have to really keep up with if you aren't versed in Memphis vernacular.

The woman continues, "So now the nigga picking jones up from school and shit and its all good. It's been like a week or so and things are straight. So at first I was fucking with Sean. We been off and on for a couple years and shit. But when jones got back in with his son, Sean was acting all funny and shit cause he didn't want him around. So we stopped talking."

"You stopped talking to Sean? I thought ya'll were tight," D inquired while putting the blade up momentarily to grab a hot towel for my face.

"Yea he cool, but I ain't gotta answer to no nigga. If jones wanna spend time with his son, it is what it is."

D nods.

"So anyway....like I said. I stopped talking to Sean around like the 30th of June. I went ahead and fucked jones (the baby daddy) on the first of this month."

D unwrapped the towel and stood up straight. Looking at ole girl in the eye for a second. 

"You did what," he asked.

"Yea I ain't gon lie. I fucked him once like on the first of THIS month. Shit I need a lil something, yafeelme. Thing is, jones wanted to go raw dog. So when I told him no, he got all mad and shit talking about about how I'm gon play him like that. I tried to tell him that he just now back in the picture. This shit ain't about to go nowhere, lets just fuck and call it a day. Jones didn't wanna hear it so after we fucked he immediately got up and left. When he called and asked to come over again the next day, I told him I had something to do. He got pissed again and called me a skinny lil bitch with no titties and no ass anyway." 

The woman backed up some away from the barber chair starting to feel the emotions from the call, I guess.

"That nigga stay with the shit, I'm telling you. Now he don't want to get jones no more because I won't let him fuck raw, when I already know he ain't about shit anyway. He ain't seen his son since he 1 years old anyway. We need to just keep it simple and do our little thing every now and then. But fuck him now, I guess. Shit I know how I look. I don't need him trying to tell me about me."

The other barbers are quiet, secretly listening to the woman's conversation. The little girl walks to the front of the shop, seemingly trying to get out of earshot of her mom now.

At the same time, D is unsnapping my apron and handing me the mirror to check out my fade. I nod, dap him up and waive to everyone. As I leave, I hear D tell the man who was originally next, "Let me gon get her lil boy real quick man. It won't take but a second."

I have no idea how the conversation ended. But I wanted to give that lil girl a hug on my way out. Children should not have to grow up in that type of environment.